This election reminded me of one of those tv shows you...you know, the ones that are really funny because they're so stupid. Except, it didn't really dawn on me that reality was either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump was going to be president by the end of the day until the morning of election day.
I had a terrible night of sleep leading into November 8, 2016. Partly because my boyfriend snores like a train and partly because I was anticipating a historical, pivotal moment in time. I knew either way this election went I wouldn't be happy or proud of the choice I made. I just didn't realize how much it would impact me emotionally and physically.
Side note: I am not divulging who I voted for, but I will say I wasn't a fan either way.
We went to the polls right at 6am because I had a super long day ahead of me and wasn't willing to fight the late crowds. The good news is we were in and out within 20 minutes. The bad news is I felt a pit in my stomach from the moment I voted until this current moment...it hasn't really gone away.
The deed was done and I wore my sticker with pride because this was my first time ever voting and I knew that however this ended up, I did my civic duty and could represent what women fought for for so long. A right that I took for granted and always assumed would never be taken back...until now.
Fast forward to the end of election day. Around 10:30pm, I was getting ready for bed and saw Trump was in the lead by quite a few electoral votes, but remained hopeful since anything could happen and half the country was still yet to be accounted for. I awoke around 2am and checked my phone to see he was still in the lead, again by quite a few, and there were only a couple states left to be accounted for. For some reason, I didn't believe it and thought it would change by the morning, perhaps because I was half asleep.
I woke up around 6:30am and couldn't go back to sleep although I knew I was able to sleep in a little today. I saw a text from my sister on my phone, which I knew couldn't be good news. I literally felt like I woke up from a bad dream, except I had to face reality. I checked Facebook first to confirm for myself and then I saw it - a mad rush of statuses from friends and family declaring Donald Trump as our new president. I've seen the majority on my feed upset about the decision, while I still have a good amount of friends who support him and are thrilled. I am not one to judge or hate, and certainly not one to un-friend someone (both on Facebook and in real life) just because we don't see eye-to-eye on politics. Everyone has their own right to believe in what they want. However, I couldn't seem to get over the overwhelming amount of hate as I scrolled through my newsfeed on and off throughout the day. No matter what race, gender, sexuality, or anything else you are, what makes a person believe it's okay to insult someone else's beliefs? Just because they are not your own doesn't make them less valid and that person less worthy of love and respect.
This has to be the thing that irritates me the most is the utter disrespect most people are experiencing from both sides. I have never been one to jam my opinion down your throat - whether or not I think it's okay to be gay or black or transgender or anything else should have no weight on how you choose to live your life because it's your life, not mine. I guess I choose to live by the golden rule of treat everyone how you wish to be treated because really, what other way is there? (at least in my book)
I have been so consumed since yesterday in this election drama and I absolutely hate it. It has literally made me sick. Upon hearing the news this morning, I have given myself stomach upset, headaches, and anxiety. I'm also an empath, which is why I can't seem to shake this overwhelming feeling of sadness. I do not feel anger, hatred, resentment, or any other negative feelings - just sadness.
I feel sad for everyone who has been targeted by someone so consumed with hatred. Not only that, but I myself have been targeted.
I am a woman.
I am dating a black man.
I have family members who have disabilities, both physical and mental.
The fact that I no longer feel safe in a country I've called home all my life is terrifying. I am scared to think of the progress we have made in the last 50 years that sounds very likely that it can be taken away.
These include the ability for homosexuals to get married, the ability for interracial couples to get married, healthcare for all with pre-existing health conditions, women shattering glass ceilings, just to name a few. It truly saddens me to wonder if I will be allowed (as ridiculous as that sounds in a free country) to marry the love of my life just because he's black and I'm white.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. I honestly just needed an outlet. Not to spread hatred or try and convert anyone's way of thinking, because that's not me at all. I appreciate the freedom to be able to use my voice online and be 100% truthful and hopefully lift someone's spirits in an overall tough time for this nation.
I leave you with this...
"No matter gay, start or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive.
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave."
Whatever color, creed, nationality, sexulaity, or religion you are, I stand with you.
If you're physically or mentally disabled, I stand with you.
If you make $0 a year or $1,000,000, I stand with you.
Let's show America how united we stand how we exercise our freedom.
#LoveTrumpsHate
Hugs,
Lauren
