Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Love Gone Wrong: Domestic Violence

It was an ordinary day out with my mom. We had gone to this new place called "DEAL$" which is affiliated with Dollar Tree. We had an enjoyable time, as we always do when we bond going to a dollar store or thrift store. It's our thing. :)

After we were done shopping there, we decided to go eat some dinner. We went to Popeye's because I was craving their yummy fries and buttery biscuits. We had a perfectly lovely time as we ate, as we aren't able to do this often due to scheduling conflicts and tight money.

It was a perfect night... until we left Popeye's.

As we were walking out of the building to the car, to our left we saw a guy and girl messing around. At first, it looked as if they were play wrestling, like friends do. But as we walked in what felt like slow motion to the car, we witnessed a terrible crime - domestic abuse.

Violence that only feels that real when seen in person.

Time felt like it stood still. It felt as if we were watching a drama, except it felt much more real. Because it was. It was very real and it was happening right in front of us - we were witnesses.

We witnessed the guy slap and beat the woman until she said something he wanted her to say. He wouldn't ease up or let her go until she said what he demanded. Exactly what it was? We don't know, we couldn't make it out - all we could do was watch in amazement as our skin crawled.

We were standing by the car as she ran inside (she looked as if she was an employee there). I kept quietly telling my mom to get in the car because my instinct at the moment was to protect my mother as I didn't know exactly what she would do - she is outspoken and always wants to do the right thing and help others, especially in terrible circumstances such as this.

When we finally got in the car, we locked the doors and contemplated what to do. As we were doing this, the guy appeared to be fuming and talking to another employee (a man this time) who came outside. We don't know what they were talking about, all we knew was he was still there, waiting.

My mom said that her instinct was to yell and make a scene. But she was resistant because of what that could possibly turn into. She tried calling 911, only to realize she didn't even press send. By this time, we noticed the woman came back out and actually went to the car with the guy who was beating her up. She immediately said, "There's nothing we can do. The cops can only do something if she files against him." We drove out of the parking lot and around the block - that's when I insisted we go back and at least try to save her, help her, anything. I just couldn't live with myself otherwise.

We drove back to the parking lot, but it was too late. She was going to drive by as I got the license plate number and we were really going to call 911 this time. But like I said, it was too late. The vehicle was already gone, both of them in tow.

I felt so bad. I felt guilty, depressed, and ashamed that as a woman that couldn't even imagine how terrible that must be, I didn't do anything to help that poor individual. For the rest of the night, I just couldn't shake that feeling. My skin constantly felt like it was crawling, my insides felt shaky, and I felt the constant urge to cry. I talked with my mom and dad about the situation and they both tried to make me feel better by saying at least we went back right away and attempted to do something and that I wasn't at fault. Then they said how we couldn't help the woman if she wasn't willing to help herself, which is actually very true. Later that night, I prayed for her. I asked God to please give her guidance and strength to overcome this terrible situation. It was the only thing I could do at this point.

I write this blog post in hopes that it will help someone, somewhere. That's what I always aim to do on this blog. Domestic violence is wrong, anywhere, anytime. Whether it's a man beating a woman OR a woman beating a man (yes, it really happens) it's still equally as wrong. I understand that most times, men can very well do more physical damage to a woman than she can, but regardless, physical abuse/violence is never the answer and if it has become one, the individual inflicting this upon someone should get help ASAP. In the same regard, the person being physically, as well as emotionally wounded, should get help and leave the individual. I understand it's hard to leave someone you love but please realize, there are people that love you without having to hurt you - physically AND emotionally. We will always get emotionally hurt by someone we trust and love because it's inevitable. But physical violence should NEVER happen between the two of you.

I hope reading this story has opened your eyes about a very real, scary, and wrong situation that happens on a daily basis for many people. I am very lucky to say I have never had to experience the tragic situation of domestic violence and I hope I never have to. If you or someone you know have been affected by domestic violence and want to get help, (please do!) I have listed some helpful links below. Please give them a look and share this blog post and the links with anyone you think they will help. Thank you, as always, for reading and listening to my story. I really hope it helps lots of people in their search for recovery. God Bless.

A popular beauty guru on YouTube, Lauren Luke, raising awareness:

Domestic Violence Awareness Site:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

Remember to have a positive day! :)


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